Being out of milk I had a handful of honey bunches of oats for a snack. Except instead of eating I inhaled one of them by accident. It now sits annoyingly in my nasal passage. GET OUTTA MY NOSE, YOU OAT!
In more substantial news, I've been considering working full time again. For a certain awesome company. But I keep going back and forth on the considerating. At the moment, I'm thinking no. But who knows, my next update may be about how I've begun work at said company.
20 things meme from andeja
1. I have a to-do list that sits in a .txt file on my desktop. Typing this up was one of the things on that list. Finally. A full month later.
2. One time I put on a plastic knight helmet in hopes of ambushing a friend. But I knocked on the wrong door and ambushed his neighbor instead.
3. Contrary to what people might assume, I don't geek out on computers/technology. Until about a month ago my main computer was still running Windows 98. And all my video cards except my current have been hand-me-downs from friends.
4. I thought that after quitting my job I'd have time to do all the stuff I wanted to do... not the case.
5. I've never played Civilization 2, which is considered the best game of all time by many.
6. when I was really little, my aunt asked my cousins and I what we wanted to be when we grew up. My first cousin said "I want to be a doctor", my second cousin said "I want to be an architect", and I said "I want to be a dad".
7. I would rather park at the first decent spot and walk vs. circle around the parking lot looking for a potentially closer spot.
8. But for stuff that actually matters i.e. job/relationship I tend to look for the better spot rather than park the first place that's close enough.
9. I can't cook worth crap. I am decent at boiling and microwaving stuff. I gave up serious cooking after this one time I tried to make pad thai, stunk up the kitchen with fish sauce, and ultimately spent 4 hours making a meal that was ten times worse tasting than something you could get at Thai Basil for 5 bucks.
10. I was over at a friends house and he asked me what I'd like to drink. I pointed to an empty can of coke. Instead of getting me a new one, he hands me the empty can. Instead of not doing something stupid, I bite down on the empty can. And that is how I chipped my tooth.
11. I like to joke that my cause of death will be something equally stupid. I say it as a joke, but I am at least 2% serious.
12. according to some online test, my IQ is 142. I dunno, me having an IQ of over 20 kind of contradicts the previous 2 statements...
13. When I was a kid I had a Speak n Spell. I thought it the way it said 'yacht' was hilarious. So when I got that word, I would ask it to repeat it over and over and laugh my head off.
14. Brontosaurus was/is my favorite dinosaur
15. My tastes in music lean toward the dark/serious/complex, but my favorite movies and favorite artworks tend to be funny/simple/light
16. I'm probably more saddened than I should be about vanilla coke being taken off the market. Also, upon hearing the news I bought a dozen twelve-packs of it. Left a gaping hole in the soda aisle of safeway. fahahahah
17. I am an INTP
18. Moreso than any other movie, Aliens freaked the hell out of me when I was a kid.
19. If I had to pick a favorite game, it'd be Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
20. After seeing Buckethead in concert I made it my goal to learn how to moonwalk, shred on the guitar, wield nunchakus, and dance like a robot. ('cause he could do all them things)
as for who's next, I choose you, plish-a-chu!
My cd tower recently fell over, spilling its contents all over my bedroom floor. In my dream last night I had finished putting back all but 5 cds, but I woke up this morning and lo and behold there are still a hundred cds on my floor.
GOD DAMMIT!!!! WHY IS ALL THE WORK WE DO IN OUR DREAMS FOR NAUGHT??
On a similar note, this one time I wanted noodles for lunch so I turned on the faucet and put a pot of water on boil. I then proceeded to forget about the water for the next 20 minutes, being ever so engrossed in my game of World of Warcraft. When I finally checked on the water, 95% of it had already evaporated and thus I had to turn the faucet on again to fill it once more. It was then that I realized I was on to something and so proudly exclaimed "I HAVE DISCOVERED HOW TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME NOBEL PRIZE HERE I COME"
You know how Hershey's chocolates come in those variety packs where you get Krackel, MrGoodbar, Special Dark, and Regular? Well, I had a whole bag of thems leftover from a party. I'm not big on eating chocolate by itself, thus I'm left with a bunch of Special Darks and Regulars. I was contemplating what to do with the unwanted chocolates when my eye wandered to a bag of Tostitos, also leftover from a party. "I KNOW, I WILL MAKE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!" I proclaimed. I mean, with a name like that, it's bound to be the next previously-undiscovered combination of joy, right? WRONG.
Okay, MAYBE. Hell if I know if they're actually good or not. Why is that, you ask? Because I encountered a snacking mishap on my quest to melt the chocolate over the tortilla chips. Do NOT put tortilla chips in the microwave unless you want to burninate them and leave your kitchen all smelly for the next three hours.
Mitch Hedberg was found dead in a hotel room last night... I wanna say it's an April Fools joke, but there's too many reliable sources for it to be just a joke. I'm still in shock... I've never been this sad about a celebrity passing away.
He was only 37, too. When I think of all the potential funny the world has lost...
Some of my favorite Mitch Hedberg-isms:
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time.
I tried to throw away a yo-yo. It was fucking impossible.
On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana?
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Foosball fucked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a back flip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.
My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."
It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky..."
I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something
I heard about a woman who didn't have any arms. They said Lola doesn't know the meaning of the word can't. That made me feel worse, because not only does she not have any arms, she can't even understand basic contractions.
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
...and then at the end of the letter I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I went to this doctor, all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do NOT go see Dr. Acula.
I was pleasantly surprised yesterday to find a Shandong-Style restaurant within 10 minutes of where I live. Shandong restaurants rock cause they make my most favoritest food of all time, hand-pulled noodles. So I walk in, place my order, and the waiter asks me to have a seat. I'd just come from the video game store across the street, so I sit down and start peeling the price tags offa the games, having nothing better to do while I wait for my order. The waiter notices and asks me in Chinese "Aren't video games expensive?" "Not if you get em used!" I said, as I peeled off a $3.99 and then a $4.99. "What kind of games are those? Playstation?" "Some of em are, but this one here's a GameBoy game." I reply. Then he made a remark that took me completely off guard: "I heard about this new system coming out... I think it's called... PlayBoy?" he said, making button-pressing motions with his fingers. "uhh... are.. you thinking of the Playstation Portable? It's like a Gameboy, but made by Sony." "Oh, is that what it's called?" "Yep."
So I finally made the move and left Blizzard. Loved working there, but felt it was time to move on. Thus, today was my first day as the sole employee of Flying Bear Entertainment! From now on, I will make the daily commute of bed to desk. I will go to my kitchen only to find the coffee’s all gone. Wait! Where did the coffee machine go?? That’s right, our company doesn’t have one. When I find random funny links on the web, I will forward them to myself. And every year I will ask myself for raises and deny them. Oh yes, it’s going to be great!